Stupid People Shouldn't Breed

Kellogg Company Fails to Protect Stupid People

That's the feeling of the New Jersey couple who are suing the Kellogg Company for $100,000 after a fire destroyed part of their home. Brenda Hurff, one of two plaintiffs in the case (the other is her husband--they say water seeks its own level) put a cherry Pop-Tart in the toaster and then left the house to drive her children to preschool. When she returned, the fire department was on the scene and smoke was pouring from the windows of her home. Was there ever a more clear-cut case of defective Pop-Tart? Brenda and her husband both feel the fire was the fault of the Kellogg Corporation, manufacturers of the deadly pastry.

I suppose one could argue for a warning label on Pop-Tarts cautioning people against leaving them cooking in a toaster unattended. The problem is: where do we draw the line. Should we put a warning on Cherry Pop-Tart boxes against eating the product while poking a fork into the electrical outlet. And we can't stop with just CHERRY Pop-Tarts. How about those apple thingies that are nothing but conflagrations waiting to erupt? And don't even get me started on those Mixed Berry dinguses.

It's sad. As I write this, there is a step ladder in the back yard that we used when trimming an encroaching limb from our neighbor's tree. There are 2 different stickers on the ladder warning: "DO NOT STAND ON , OR ABOVE THIS STEP. You can lose your balance".

I am extremely grateful to the good folks who manufactured the ladder for the concern they are showing and the efforts they are making to protect me from my own stupidity.

Or am I?

Figure it this way. Those stickers cost money. Who do you suppose pays for them? Why not just sell me the ladder for a buck or two less and let me take my chances? If I'm too dumb to know that when climbing a ladder, I must exercise caution lest I fall off, how is a printed warning going to help? Wouldn't they be doing a greater service for humanity if they left the warning off? Think of the good it would do our collective gene pool if stupid people all over the country began falling off ladders and cracking their skulls.

I've half a mind to peel the warning labels off the ladder and ship it as a gift to Brenda Hurff and her husband in New Jersey .

A few years back I saw a sign in a gun shop where ammunition was sold: "Caution. The bullets we sell contain lead which the State of California has determined to be hazardous to your health."

I confess that, until that moment, I had no idea bullets could be hazardous to your health.

MARYLAND ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PROTECTS MORALS OF PRETEENS

At Annapolis Academy, a rather pompously named elementary school in Maryland , playing tag on school property during lunch or recess can lead to disciplinary action. The ban is a result of concerns by the school administration that playing tag can lead to incidents of "inappropriate touching" by the young students.

I guess things are different today than they were when I was a kid. Either that or I was a particularly stupid kid (which my father assures me I was). All those hours spent running around, squealing and chasing and tagging and only now, almost 50 years later do I learn that the game is supposed to have a sexual component.

What can be sadder than looking back and realizing the opportunities you've missed?

Stupidity is Ageless

The LAPD is reporting a rise in the number of scams and cons designed to separate fools from their money. The most recent incidents involved imaginary lottery winnings that could not be claimed by the self-described "winner" but could be claimed by a complete stranger PROVIDED, that stranger was willing to give the alleged winner a several thousand dollar "good faith deposit". In separate incidents, last week, the victims, each described in the news as "elderly women", went to their banks and withdrew the funds, convinced they would be able to exchange several thousand dollars for several hundred thousand. Sorry, guys, I personally think that anyone so mentally challenged and blinded to reason and common sense by greed deserves to lose their money ... whether they're nine or ninety.

But, of course, it wasn't their fault. They were victims.

Whether you're the bad guy or the victim, nothing is your fault anymore. Personal responsibility has been replaced by a victim mentality that always assigns blame, not where it belongs, but on those people or forces outside the control of the actor. I thought I'd help this nice man by giving him $2,000 in exchange for his $200,000 but, gee, he tricked me and I lost my money. It's all HIS fault.

I smoked for 40 years but it's the fault of the tobacco companies that I got cancer ... Sure, I drowned my children but I was depressed ... I cut off my husbands penis but he was abusing me. (A stretch when you remember that the husband in question was asleep when she did the deed.) ... My brother and I shot both our parents with twelve-gauge shotguns but it's not our fault because Dad was sexually abusing both of us. (I guess that explains Dad but why kill Mom? Were they on a roll?) Granted, the Menendez brothers were eventually convicted at a second trial but their arguments were convincing enough to result in a hung jury at their first.

Over the past 30 years, the judicial system has institutionalized a plethora of excuses and rationales for any number of criminal acts, human atrocities and just plain stupidity. For the most part, these excuses are society's cop-out. They are judicial reflections of our refusal, as individuals to accept responsibility for the consequences of our actions.

If the trend continues, we will reach the day (and hopefully it won't be in my lifetime, but who knows?) when no one will be responsible for anything.

Will the trend continue? That's up to us. We're the ones responsible!

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