Too Much Sincerity Can Ruin a Guy

 

 

Anyone who has ever scanned the personal classified ads has encountered the phrase "sincere only" or "looking for sincere (whatever) for relationship/friend/pen pal/etc.

As a writer, I take exception to the overuse of a word by folks who don't know the word's MEANING.

Someone who communicates fully their thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants is SINCERE.

Anyone who has ever dealt with a "sincere" person of either gender has learned that the best approach is to run like hell.

Unlike honesty, which allows for a certain amount of "fudging" when necessary to avoid hurting another's feelings or to preserve social etiquette, sincerity requires you to expose yourself fully to the world … warts and all … whether the world is ready or not.

The etymology of the word "sincere" is the Latin sine=without and cera=wax. Sculptors who made mistakes when carving marble would disguise the cracks with wax. A sculpture which was without these additions was "without wax".

Absolutely no one alive is completely sincere. We are, each one of us, different people depending on who we are dealing with. You, gentle reader, are a different person with your parents than you are with your boss, than you are with your friends, than you are with your employer, than you are in the classified personals. Try to imagine what life would be like if this weren't true.

I met and had a conversation one time with a gentleman who insisted on sharing absolutely every aspect of his life with me, a complete stranger. For almost an hour I was forced to hear about every triumph, every failure and every secret thought he ever had. This guy wanted me to like him and, to make that happen, he was determined to expose himself fully. I finally made my escape and have never had any desire to have another conversation with him. I was honest enough to nod politely as he talked. Had I been sincere, I would have pointed out to him that I really wasn't even a little bit interested in seeing him so completely.

If you want to develop a good relationship with another human being, learn to be HONEST. That's more than enough.

 

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